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The GOS and Mrs.Sod are having their downstairs cloakroom redecorated. Mrs.Sod told the plumber "I don't want one of these piddling little modern toilets, I want a bloody great big one that flushes all the way to the Bristol Channel".
"Oh no," he replied. "I'm not allowed by law to fit anything that flushes more than 6 litres of water."
So there you have it. The government are telling us how to flush the bog, now. And it's not just our lavatories that are subject to restrictive legislation, is it? The GOS can't buy Thawpit Spot-Remover any more. He can't store more than a thimbleful of petrol for his outboard motor in the garage. He can't throw away a nearly empty paint tin anywhere in his entire county. Very soon he won't be allowed to buy an ordinary light-bulb but will have to pay five times as much for one that gives half the light. He's not allowed to take a photograph in a public place. He can't smack a naughty child.
It strikes him that it would be very interesting to compile a list of all the things we could do twenty years ago, and can't do today. If we could get the list up to, say, 500 items we could do a Grumpy Press Release and send it to all the nationals. What about it?
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The GOS says: And no clever comments, please, about the fact that my wife and I have a downstairs cloakroom and a plumber. Everyone's entitled to a bit of luck now and then.


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