We'll begin with a "box", and the plural is "boxes";
But the plural of "ox" becomes "oxen", not "oxes".
One fowl is a "goose", but two are called "geese",
Yet the plural of "moose" should never be "meese".
You may find a lone "mouse" or a nest full of "mice",
Yet the plural of "house" is "houses", not "hice".
If the plural of "man" is always called "men", why
Shouldn't the plural of "pan" be called "pen"?
If I spoke of my "foot" and showed you my "feet", and I
Give you the "boot", would a pair be called "beet"?
If one is a "tooth" and a whole set are "teeth", why
Shouldn't the plural of "both" be called "beeth"?
Then one may be "that", and three would be "those",
Yet "hat" in the plural would never be "hose",
And the plural of "cat" is "cats" and not "cose".
We speak of a "brother", and also of "brethren", but
Though we say "mother", we never say "methren".
Then the masculine pronouns are "he", "his" and "him",
But imagine the feminine - "she", "shis" and "shim"!
Some reasons to be proud that you understand English ...
The bandage was wound around the wound
The dump was so full it had to refuse refuse
He decided to desert his dessert in the desert
It was time to present the present (no time like the present!)
Some oarsmen had a row about how to row
Spend the evening evening out a pile of dirt
The farm was used to produce produce
We must polish the Polish table
The insurance was invalid for an invalid
I did not object to the object
Being too close to the door to close it …
At the doctor's, after a number of jabs my arm got number
We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes we find that quicksand can work slowly, and that boxing rings are square.
We ship by truck and send cargo by ship. We have noses that run and feet that smell, and how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same thing when a wise man and a wiseguy are opposites?
We play at a recital, and recite at a play. The Americans fill in a form by filling it out. An alarm clock goes off by going on and on, and in cricket if you're in and get out, you come in. Mind you, even if you are out, your team is still in until they're all out.
Also remember there is no egg in eggplant, no ham in a hamburger and neither apple nor pine in a pineapple.
Pronunciations can mess with your mind too; for example if you have a rough cough, climbing can be tough on the bough of a tree! Unless you're a chough, of course.
Finally, if a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
The GOS says: It makes you proud, doesn't it, in a twisted kind of way?
However, I've said it before and I'll keep saying it until the day I croak, there is no such thing as a bloody train station!
either on this site or on the World Wide Web.
Copyright © 2008 The GOS
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